Shattered Lives - Children who live with courage & dignity

Camila Batmanghelidjh

Shattered Lives bears witness to the lives of children who have experienced abuse and neglect, and highlights the effects of early traumatic episodes. Chapters take the form of letters to a child capturing their life experiences, hugely impacted by sexual abuse, parental substance misuse and loss, leading to feelings of shame, rejection and worthlessness. Batmanghelidjh offers understanding for those baffled by these hard-to-reach children and warns against stigmatizing them for their problem behaviour. In her critique of existing structures, she exposes the plight of children who are overlooked by the authorities and denounces those who value bureaucracy over the welfare of the individual child. Society’s failure to acknowledge the truth of their experiences and act to change the environment in which such mistreatment can flourish is, she strongly argues, leading to the death of childhood. The book is a clarion call for change.

‘I wanted my letter in the book because I want the council and people who care for kids to know the truth.’
– Chardonnay

‘Having Camila write to me in that way was a truly amazing experience. There are no words to describe the feelings that my letter provoked. My chapter brought about a profound sense of closure.’
– Daisy

‘Camila’s work with children who have suffered abuse, trauma and emotional deprivation is outstanding. To hear her reflect on their experience is always to have mind and heart expanded, and it is wonderful that we now have such reflection available in this book for a wider public – so that the urgency of what she is talking about just might at last make an impact on the public and on government.’
– Dr Rowan Williams, Archbishop of Canterbury

‘This wonderful bombshell of a book is a sustained, honourable and timely paean of fury on behalf of the children whose murdered childhood haunts and damages us all. In these circumstances “neutrality is offensive” from all professionals and indeed adults who disguise the real level of pain they witness in children for the sake of easier research, policy, relationship with peers and superiors.’
– Valerie Sinason, PhD, MACP, MInst Psychoanal, FRSA, child psychotherapist and adult psychoanalyst

 ‘Camila Batmanghelidjh is a remarkable woman, a child who grew up to fight for children and childhood. This is a truly remarkable book. We must all ensure that it becomes life changing. Politicians should read it with a view to examining why and how we let children fall between the cracks of societal aspiration, legislation and protection, to be damaged and then do damage to others. Public servants should read it to remember why they exist. As parents we should read it and then love and understand our children a little better in the future. Read it and weep. Read it and resolve that we must do better. If it was hard to write and at times hard to read, imagine what it was to live.’
– Shami Chakrabarti, Director of Liberty (the National Council for Civil Liberties)

‘It’s so clear, it hurts.’
– Ruby Wax

 ‘I can’t remember ever having been so affected by a book about the country I live in. Each child you write about tells me something new about the kids i see on the street.
– Danny Kruger, Chief Leader Writer, The Daily Telegraph

‘Shattered Lives is a much needed and timely book. No one understands or has done more with socially excluded children in Britain than Camila Batmanghelidjh. She responds to them with respect and understanding and has broken through where so many others have failed. In an age of widening disparities between rich and poor, this is a book of hope. It is also a call for action from so many more of us to expand and support the opportunities that Camila and Kids Company have forged. They need to be replicated across Britain if we are to avoid creating an entire generation of excluded and destroyed young people.’
– Jon Snow, journalist and broadcaster

‘Shattered Lives is an illuminating picture of the compassion and determination needed to provide the social and therapeutic experiences which can transform the lives of the children whom society has rejected. Helping abused and neglected children to find ways of coping with the fear of their past trauma can have a lifelong impact on the future well-being of society’s most vulnerable group. By learning how to contain their fears, these children can find the courage to trust others enough to form loving attachment bonds and hope for a more settled future.

‘Camila Batmanghelidjh has the rare gift of helping the reader to feel empathy with the challenging behaviours and complex survival strategies that very traumatised children often develop, and then present the relevant theoretical models of neurobiology and developmental psychology that underpin her innovative therapeutic practice. Her lifelong determination to provide a haven of safety and joyful opportunities for children’s social and emotional development at Kids Company is testament to her enduring compassion, skill and persistence in the face of overwhelming difficulties – not least from bureaucracy and prejudice.

‘This book must be read by everyone – social workers, therapists, teachers and policy makers – who touch the lives of children who have been shattered by fear, humiliation and rejection. It provides insight, hope and respect for the children who have survived against the odds, and for all those who care about them.’
– Richard Bowlby